No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
