I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.