would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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