You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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