We won't sleep together?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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