: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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