i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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