How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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