boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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