Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
