He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
His nipple licking is glorious
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