my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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