glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
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she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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