Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
