Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
