We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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