Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
