when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
