he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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