I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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