Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
