tell your sister to shave her snatch
can u get pink eye on your cock?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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