This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize