did you get engaged???
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
