watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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