"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
