so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I didn't notice because vodka
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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