i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize