Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
