I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
