Just mADE A PArabola og urine
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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