You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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