Your face is a jimmy john
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
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FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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