we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize