I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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