My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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