Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize