She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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