ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
