imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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