there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
