To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
