I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
