Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize