Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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