Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
