my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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