He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize