so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
