i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
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Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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