I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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