SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
