Where did you get a picture of my penis
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
high people should be assigned attendants
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
