The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
