If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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