I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
