i think i recognize dicks better than faces
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
