and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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