it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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