That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
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