A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
