when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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